A jaw so clenched in sleep that I woke with an aching mouth. Racing heart and scattered thoughts of worry waiting for me to stir, my unwelcome companions for the day. Tools of the enemy. They are uninvited. Who opened the door and let them in?
How often have I been lacking empathy for a loved one who suffers from anxiety that seems to come out of nowhere? It doesn’t make sense if it cannot be assigned a reason for occurring, right? And yet, am I not experiencing the same right now? As I cry out to God to bring peace and erase my fear and worry, I can’t help but wonder what hopelessness I would feel if I did not have the comfort of my Heavenly Father to turn to. How in the world could I walk through the pain of wayward children, addiction, mental illness or any other trouble in this earthly life without knowing that His love and compassion transcend my earthy pain and fear? A mother’s broken heart is no joke. It’s hard to imagine the despair of believing this earthly journey is all there is. Oh how I long for the day that He comes to take us to our Heavenly home! This Earth is temporary. It is not my permanent home. I pray for guidance to fulfill my duties and purpose here as I long for the day to be taken home to my Savior.
Father God, you are greater, stronger, bigger, more powerful than my problems, struggles and fears. Today my problems and fears feel too big for me to face. I give them to you. Please help me not to believe or be seduced by feelings, but to believe and speak your truth. Pour your truth into me today. Fix my eyes and thoughts on you. I long for peace that only you can give. Peace no matter the storm, no matter the worry, no matter the uncertainty of this life. Peace that is deep and abiding.
I know that you have allowed these situations, this pain, these specific struggles into my life for a reason. I may not yet (or ever) understand the reason, but I acknowledge that you have purpose for this season of pain and heartache and that you can redeem this story and create something beautiful from the mess. Take my worries and my sorrow. Craft my pain and heartache into something that will bring glory to you. Release me from anxiety, fear and worry. Give me rest in you today.
1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your cares on him because he cares for you.
Psalm 16:8 I know the Lord is always with me. He is at my right hand. I will always be secure.